My narcissist mother sapped my self-esteem and even fed me with alcohol and handed me over to a paedophile aged 7. Such a relief to know its not all me! Reply Ongoing project tho! Once widowed, she lived w us 10 yes absolute nightmare!no genuine emotional connexion and lots of well !meant criticism and advice! Over all I feel sorry for her a and don’t want the same for my kids who deal with her well. I do love her and don’t think she’s ever been intentionally nasty to me she really thinks she knows best! I have realised thanks to perfectly placed friends that life doesn’t have to b That scary all the time and all r in charge of their own destiny! Best example u can teach ur kids! I have two and I think I have successfully bypassed her negativity in them. The latest annoyance is she’s trying to tell me exactly who what how her funeral will be! All I feel able to say is that surely that’s the one thing she doesn’t need to worry about cos she won’t there! Infuriating. Had no idea it was wrong to depend on other people for happiness and validation! No one ever told me – too embarrassing prob! Feel such a fool but am trying not to focus on failure on my part – everything is for a reason I ththink, and I need to become stronger! Ridiculously docile looking back but I do feel that thanx to good friends I finally realised TT hat I’m in charge of me! Very empowering.mum is still making me feel like a failure for every decision I make but I feel in on what’s happening now and Im gonn a have to learn to deal with it. So good to find this site! I’m 50 and only ladsyt couple years realised its not me! Very lucky to have good friends as I now realise I was a totally dependent person due to !y upbringing. Whether you pursue a low-contact or no-contact approach, choosing the boundaries that honor your well-being and integrity is essential.
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If you want to know how to get away from a narcissistic mother, the answer comes down to understanding which level of contact you wish to maintain. It’s important to process your emotional experiences and explore what dynamics you want to have with your mother moving forward. Many people benefit from therapy during this time. You have every right to identify and validate your feelings about the situation. Learning how to cope with a narcissistic mother isn’t easy. Remember that you cannot control who she is or what she does, but you can focus on what you need to be happy.
If this is the case, it’s essential to reflect on what kind of relationship you want to have. You may feel exhausted by her erratic or selfish behavior. When your mother is a narcissist, boundaries may be challenging. You may want to defend her or her behavior, and you may also rationalize her abuse for “doing the best she could.”Īs an adult, you can decide what relationships you want in your life. It’s normal to feel angry, upset, confused, or shocked. Realizing your mother’s numerous signs of a narcissistic mother can be painful. This was because you learned how to read emotions and listen carefully from a young age. She may have expected you to rescue or comfort her- instead of the other way around.Ĭhildren of narcissists often feel like they “grow up fast.” Others may have commented on how mature or adult-like you seemed. Growing up, your mother might have used you as a soundboard to vent all her problems. Many narcissists struggle with adult relationships, so they use their children as makeshift friends or therapists. #12 She Dumps Her Emotional Baggage Onto You If you have siblings, there’s a good chance you fought often- everyone wanted to compete for mom’s attention. Unfortunately, your role can switch at any time and without any warning. The scapegoat, on the other hand, receives the blame for causing all the problems. The golden child is the “perfect” child, the one who makes the rest of the family look good. Most narcissistic parents enjoy stacking their children against one another. These mothers believe they have access to every part of your world, whether it’s barging into your bedroom or reading through all your texts.Īnd if you confront her behavior? Prepare to hear the infamous I just care about you! #11 She Plays Favorites With Her Children They perceive you as an extension of themselves.Īs a result, privacy feels nonexistent. Narcissistic mothers don’t understand boundaries. Usually, this rejection is a projection of their own unresolved insecurities. Many narcissistic mothers obsess over their children’s appearances and become harsh and critical when they disapprove. Were you put on a diet at a young age? Was she continually criticizing your outfits or hair or the way you did your makeup?
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